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WTF ARE YOU WEARING? A Fashion Come-To-Jesus For Katie Holmes

Here is a picture of Katie Holmes with Tom Cruise, heading out of a Katy Perry concert this weekend. I mark the time and place only to clarify that this picture is neither from a circa-1988 Whitesnake...

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Church Of Scientology Still Hiding In Closet, Covertly Investigates South...

ATTENTION: None of what I am about to write is by my own free will.  I am being forced…by threat of a lit match! I am being forced to write this anti-ish-Scientology pile of dung!  Church of...

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Making Hollywood Less Beautiful

We teach our kids that they are beautiful.  That no matter what their outsides look like, it’s what’s inside that counts, and inside everyone is a beautiful person.  And all that crunchy hippie stuff....

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The Forbes’ 2011 Overpaid Actors List Is In Your Internets, Validating Your...

I love Forbes Magazine’s celebrity and entertainment related lists. I like imagining some accountant hard at work with a green visor, crunching the numbers with a furrowed brow, painstakingly compiling...

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In Not At All Surprising News, Employees Choose Exercise Over Spending One...

Who doesn’t love an office holiday party? 96% of U.S. employees, apparently. In a poll, only 4% of respondents top their office holiday wish-list with a party. Almost 75% would prefer a cash bonus,...

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A Quick And Dirty Guide To Movies To See On Christmas Day

A common Christmas Day tradition amongst my friends of the Jewish or otherwise not-Christmas-inclined persuasion is to go out for dinner (Chinese food is popular option) and then go see a movie. It’s a...

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Suri Cruise Wants a Pony for Christmas

Suri Cruise has been making out her Christmas list, and it puts my kids’ lists to shame. Totaling up all the wishes on Suri’s list, Tom and Katie are looking at a $130K outlay to make it a happy...

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Tom Cruise’s Teen Son Pulls DJ Duty, Spins Those Fresh Scientologist Beats

Well, his dad might be starring in Rock of Ages, but 16-year-old Connor Cruise is the one with a budding career in music, as was evidenced by his DJ gig at the Big Bang 2012 party at Hollywood and...

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Way #756 You Are Messing Up Your Kid: Their Name

Oh, baby names.  They cause hours of stress and conversation and compromise among most couples.  I mean, a kid has to deal with that name for the rest of his or her life.  This is not a topic to be...

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Connor Cruise Sends Homophobic Tweet To Openly Gay Agent; Needs New Agent

Tom Cruise might be an alien-lovin’ whackjob, but his son is a homophobic jackass.   After the Super Bowl, 17 year old Connor Cruise‘s publicist Todd Krim wrote the Patriots fan a tweet that read...

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Show Me That Warrant Again: Robin Thicke’s Arrest & The Troubled Celebrity...

I try to ignore Robin Thicke. Not because he’s a terrible singer/songwriter (I actually don’t think I’ve ever heard him sing; I’m sure he’s great), but because I have a real problem with a dude who is...

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A Celebration of Photoshop’s Greatest Errors

Last week, a very lovely and well-spoken eighth grader  named Julia Bluhm spent the day demonstrating in front of Seventeen Magazine‘s New York headquarters. She had started a petition to ask Seventeen...

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Chatter Box: Tom Cruise Happy With 3 Kids, Kenny Chesney Digs His Dog,...

Rock of Ages star Tom Cruise is a mere loft wedge away from a major milestone. The actor turns 50 on July 3 and plans to spend his birthday with his family. That sounds like the way I like to spend my...

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Nothin’ But A Good Time: Why Everyone Is Wrong About “Rock of Ages”

Let me be clear: I hate the 80′s. I was a teenager for most of that decade, and other than harboring a secret, verboten love for the band Rush that will never die, I have no desire whatsoever to return...

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FREE AT LAST! Some Things Katie Holmes Should Do Now That She’s Single

However you feel about Tom Cruise or Scientology, I feel like you have to be happy for Katie Holmes, who split from her husband of five years on Friday. After all, no good marriage ends in divorce. I’m...

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Acting Enables Tom Cruise To Play 6’5″, 250-Pound Tough Guy

Those familiar with airport books stores may recognize the name Lee Child. Child is the author of the Jack Reacher novels. No, they’re not gay porn. Rather, the Jack Reacher novels are your standard...

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Chatter Box: TomKat Divorce Settlement, Adele Way More Pregnant Than We Thought

The gossip gods giveth and the gossip gods taketh away, my friends. Yesterday, Tom Cruise‘s and Katie Holmes‘s lawyers completed a divorce settlement agreement after working basically nonstop all...

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Why I Still Love Tom Cruise, Even If Katie (Also, Everybody Else) Doesn’t

So, Tom Cruise is having a hell of a month so far, huh? I mean, to be in Iceland shooting your next epic blockbuster and eagerly anticipating an equally epic 50th (!!) birthday celebration with your...

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Five Celebrity Children Who Should Write A Tell-All Book

Now before you start harping on me for trying to exploit the bizarre lifestyle of these young to not-so-young celebrity offspring, let me just tell you that I’m totally just speaking towhat’s in their...

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10 Ways To Fail Tom Cruise’s Wife Audition

The September issue of Vanity Fair contains allegations that Tom Cruise went a-wife huntin’ with the help of auditors from the Church of Scientology before marrying Katie Holmes.  General Hospital...

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If I Get Kidnapped You’ll Know Why: Are Tom Cruise And Xenu Calling It Quits?

Every so often I find a topic online that I find so fascinating, I read until my eyes bleed (don’t you? I mean that’s why the Internet works, right?) and most recently the topic I followed down that...

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Tom Cruise Writes Love Letter To Katie Holmes; Hope He Sealed It In A Barf Bag

Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes had it all, didn’t they? Those crazy kids had love, they had fabulous careers, they had a gorgeous daughter, and they had a team of bat-shit wackadoo “guidance” counselors...

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Leah Remini Quits Scientology, Expect Screams of “I’m Free” While Running In...

Leah Remini has long been a member of the upper echelon in the Church of Scientology. I find this surprising actually, because you’d think she’d have more prominent film or TV roles due to hobnobbing...

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Tom Cruise Defends Himself Against Claims He “Abandoned” Suri

Tom Cruise is one intense dude. That can be good, I guess. Like maybe in a situation where you need to break through a concrete wall and you’re only allowed to use the energy you can muster by...

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Nicole Kidman’s Oscar Win Didn’t Make Her Happy

Why do we link celebs together for eternity, even when they’ve split? Sure, if the separation is fresh then it’s natural to still attach them to one another, but for some reason there are certain...

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